Meet Van

Van Metaxas - SF TherapistI HAVE OVER TWENTY YEARS OF EXPERIENCE helping clients transform their lives so they can engage life, work, and love more fully. I specialize with couples who have given up hope — or been in prior unsuccessful couples therapy —helping them take positive steps that lead to increased joy, intimacy, and connection.

From my own life, I know that relationships can be not only a source of great pain, but also a powerful agent for mutual healing, growth, and joy.

With that in mind, I’ve devoted many years to studying Sue Johnson’s EFT (Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy) and Stan Tatkin’s PACT (Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy). I blend the two in a distinctive way to encourage clients to cultivate new experiences that reprogram the brain and lead to enduring change.

quotes“Van has been a gift in my life. The breadth and depth of issues through which he has supported me speaks to his gifts as a mentor, sage, life coach, friend-with-boundaries, therapist, and healer. I recommend him to anyone who seeks to better understand themselves and their place in the world.”

My late-wife and partner of nearly thirty years died from cancer. My experience of walking hand-in-hand with her through protracted illness — and death — has deepened my appreciation for life and the vicissitudes of intimacy, and enabled me to share with couples my own humanity, wisdom, and unflinching equanimity in the face of relationship distress.

A licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (#MFC 32323), I did my undergraduate work in politics at Princeton University (1984) and my graduate work in integral counseling psychology at the California Institute of Integral Studies (1992). I was the Director of Counseling for ten years at Drew College Preparatory School, in San Francisco, and have been supervising therapists-in-training since 1997.


I am the author of Conspiring to Heal: A Love Story, a memoir about my family’s journey to live and love whole-heartedly in the face of illness and death. It is a benediction to the transformative power of love and devotion.

Photographer Credit: Shoey Sindel